PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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