so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
