He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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