I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
