It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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