sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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