I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
how drunk are you?
Several
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
