An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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