Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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