just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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