I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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