Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
