is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
