dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
