honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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