Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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