She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
