new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
