You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
