I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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