i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you didnt know i had herpes?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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