bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
