On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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