I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He has the fingertips of a God
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