I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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