just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I came so hard my ears popped.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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