Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
we're so committed to being not committed
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
