I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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