Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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