Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.

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(408): View more from California

Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.

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(904): View more from Florida

pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.

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(512): View more from Texas

I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.

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(947): View more from Michigan

He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me

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(813): View more from Florida

Why is there bacon in the couch?

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(828): View more from North Carolina

So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.

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