Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Who died my cat blue again?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
