Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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