I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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