she was so not down for the gang bang
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
