Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
