Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
