are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
