Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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