The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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