Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just invented taco cereal.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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