If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
