Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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