The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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