There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My pussy is not your playground.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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