nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i already hear my dad disowning me
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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