You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
