oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
