Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
