walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
