The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
