Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
